They say that time heals all wounds
by QuierdoMusic
Summary: Tag to Swan Song... read and review, please :
1. Chapter 1

**Tag to Swan Song... so... yeah spoilers.**

**.....................**

_**They say that time heals all wounds...**_

**He missed the time when the water turned cold while showering...**

**He missed waiting for his turn to take the shower.**

**He missed taking all the hot water.**

**He missed leaving most of the hot water for his brother after a rough hunt, just to take a cold shower afterwards, because there was still soap left on his body.**

**He missed the puddles on the bathroom floor when he was the second one...**

**He missed the goofy looking smiley Sam had sometimes drawn onto the bathroom mirror after showering.**

**God... he missed Sam....**

**He hated this apple-pie life...**

He hated this hot water.

It was burning his skin.

Dean ran a hand through his wet hair. The other one pressed against the wall, supporting his weight. Hot water ran over the back of his head and his back. His skin was already red and sore, but he didn't want it to stop, though it began to feel like needles were falling down on him.

A sob escaped his lips.

He wiped his eyes, there was dampness on his cheeks, where tears mixed with water.

**His eyes, his throat, his chest and his stomach ached. He wanted to go back in time. **

**He wanted to go back to the day he came back from hell to make everything alright...**

**He wanted to talk to his brother one last time.**

**He wanted to make Sam realize how proud he was... how much he loved him.**

Tears and water dripped from his nose and he gripped the shower curtain, fisting it so tight that his knuckles burned white.

**He wished he had never given Sam the promise... he didn't want to stay here with Ben and Lisa.**

They liked him...

God... Lisa really adored him, even after everything what happened.

She was caring for him, though he didn't talk.

Dean just answered with 'yes' or 'no'..., not able to say anything else.

He slept on the couch...., not willing to share a bed with Lisa.

He couldn't stand any human contact...

**God... he wanted his brother back.**

**Now...**

**Badly...**

**Sam....**

A further sob escaped, causing him to cup his hand over his mouth, closing his eyes.

He knew that there would be a dinner for him, as soon as he left the shower...

But all he wanted was to drown himself in the whiskey that would also wait out there.

**He missed the fast food.**

**He missed this crappy diners, where the food looked like it had been already eaten... several times.**

**He missed his brother's salads....**

**He missed the coffees...**

**He missed Sam's fancy coffee-mixes...**

**He missed....**

**...his brother....**

Dean let out a shuddered breath. His skin slowly got numb...

He hung his head, a tremor shaking his body...

**Famine had been wrong.**

**He wasn't dead inside... he wished he would be...**

**He didn't want to feel a damn thing...**

**He wanted to die... right here...**

**Right now...**

"Oh god..." He wept.

**Desperate....**

**He wanted to make things right...**

**He wanted to hug things out if he had to...**

**He just wanted to be together with Sam again...**

Of course it was nice to know that he had somebody who washed his clothes.

**But...**

**He missed making laundry with Sam.**

**He missed fighting with Sam, when he had forgotten money... or tissues in the jeans-pockets....**

**He missed waiting in the laundry with his brother, talking about the other people were washing their clothes.**

**He missed Sam....**

Yeah... it was kinda nice to know that he had a immobile home...

**But... **

**Sam had always been home....**

**His family...**

**Sam...**

**Sam was home...**

**Not Lisa **

**Not Ben...**

**Not Bobby...**

**Not the Impala...**

**Not even his father...**

**No.**

**Sam.**

If time really healed all wounds... this wound needed decades... no... rather centuries... and Dean didn't have this time... He didn't even want to have this time...

It had been one week since Sam jumped into the pit...

All he had done in that time was driving to Lisa...

Alone...

**He missed Sam riding shotgun...**

**He missed Sam's bitching about the music...**

**He missed sleeping in that car...**

**He missed sitting on the hood of the Impala with his brother, drinking beer, looking at the stars.**

**He missed Sam...**

**Knowing that his brother would never come back made it worse...**

Finally stepping out of the shower, he put on his clothes without even drying himself off, before he drew one of Sam's goofy looking smiley onto the mirror, tears still running over his face.

Seeing his face, Dean couldn't look himself into his eyes, gazing into the smiley's eyes and than at his neck...

He wanted his necklace back...

Why had he thrown it away?

**God....**

**He needed Sam...**

**He missed...**

**He just missed....**

**Sammy....**

Wiping his eyes one last time he walked down into the kitchen, knowing that waited a family... and food...

He didn't want any of it...

The family wasn't his family

And the food wasn't the food he was used to...

The house was to big....

Everything was clean...

Everything nice....

God... he hated this life...

**He wanted Sam with him...**

**He missed him so much.**

**..............................................**

**To be continued....?**

_**Reviews please?**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Hey... sorry for the delay...**_

_**...**_

Dean glanced at the envelopes in his hands. Post... For the first time in... forever he fetched post from a porch... His life was really screwed.

"Even more screwed up now..." He whispered, throwing the envelopes onto the little, pretty couch table. He hated it.

It's been two weeks since Sam... vanished.

He stayed with Lisa one week now. He already knew that he wouldn't get used to it.

There had been only one moment that had felt bearable.

During the night after he had arrived here, Dean had felt a calming presence in the dark yard. It had been the only night which had been completely dark, too... every other night there had been lamps burning outside.

It might have been the stress or the alcohol. Dean kept telling himself.

"Ah... fuck." Dean snarled. Some of the envelopes had flown to far and as a result they fell down, under the couch. Kneeling in front of the furniture Dean fished a slightly larger envelope from under the couch and his mouth opened when he sad the address.

_**Dean Winchester**_

Bobby's handwriting.

There was just a little note in the envelope. '**He wanted you to have it, in case he... succeeds. Call me boy... I need to hear your voice soon. Bobby.**'

There was no need to explain who 'he' was.

Dean knew...

"Oh my..." Dean cupped his hand over his mouth, after letting the envelope and the note fall. He felt his face pale.

_Sammy..._

The amulet was heavy in his other hand that was not over his mouth.

Dean let out a howl, while he jerked around, kicking the couch table in process, breaking one of the legs.

Then he sunk to the ground his right hand still cupped over his mouth, gazing at the item in his left hand, caressing it with his thumb.

After a while he closed his eyes and fisted his hand around the amulet, pressing his knuckles against his forehead, the cord laying over his nose and his other hand.

"Dean..." Lisa's soft voice came from the entrance. "What happened?"

When Dean didn't react, Lisa bit her lip and ran a hand through her hair, before she knelt down beside the broken man, not touching, just watching him.

"You've tried, Dean." There were tears in the woman's voice, causing Dean to look up at her. She forced herself to smile when she continued. "I... God... Dean... I love you... I hope you know that... and that's why I can't keep you here... damn it... you're suffering..."

"Lisa... I... promi-" Dean began but was interrupted.

"You promised to find me and come in for a beer..." Lisa settled down more comfortable. "You did... you said that you would try to be happy here... you said that you would try to have an apple-pie life... yeah... you tried... Sam wants you to be happy... but you aren't... I don't think he wants you to torture yourself." Lisa cleared her throat, wiping a tear from her cheek. "Just promise me to call me as soon as you find him... bring him back... just don't... follow him... not now anyway."

"I'm..." Dean was lost of words. "I don't want..."

"You do... I've seen it in your eyes when you arrived... you don't want to live without him... and there are just two options for you... and I just... I hope... I god... I just hope you'll find him."

"I don't know what to say." Dean shook his head, using his thumb to brush further tears of Lisa's face. "You're amazing. Do you know that?"

"Men keep telling me that." She let out a chuckle.

...

Half an hour later Dean stood in front of the Impala, Lisa beside him, both looking at anything but each other.

"I'm sorry Lisa... I wish it would be different." Dean apologized, his hand wandering to the amulet on his chest.

"Yeah... me, too..." She gripped Dean's hand, turning him towards her. "Just take care of yourself, Dean..."

"You, too Lis... and take care of Ben..." Dean throat was tightening, when he looked into the woman's eyes. Pain was visible in her expression. "We'll see us." He stroked her hair back, before he leaned down and kissed her cheek. "Say hello and goodbye to Ben..." He cleared his throat. "Give him a hug." He added calmer.

Lisa nodded, waving her hand when Dean drove off.

...

**One week later...**

"_Dean_?" Bobby's voice sounded wide awake when he answered the phone, though it was in the middle of the night. "_Is that you boy_?"

"Bobby... I..." He coughed. "Uhh... I... could... ahh... I could use some help here..."

"_Dean..._ _where are you? Are you hurt?" _Bobby was concerned.

"Ha..." Dean faked a chuckle. "Define hurt... Bobby... could you please try to reach... to reach Cas... I... oh... god... I... I haven't done it on purpose... you... you have to believe me."

"_Dean... I believe you._" Bobby swallowed hard on the other end. "_Just tell me where you are._"

Dean heard his friend talking silently on another phone.

"The cemetery... I'm... cemetery. Demons... I killed them... but they got me... bad..." Dean responded. "Bobby... I'm... I'm not... I don't think I'm gonna... gonna make it..."

"_Don't say this... don't you dare..._" Bobby's voice broke. "_Not now... not..._"

"Bobby... I'm..." Dean tried to apologized.

"_NO... god... I've told you we've should have told him._" Bobby snarled and Dean couldn't help but think that this wasn't directed at him.

"Bobby?" Dean asked.

"_Hold on..._" Bobby ordered. "_For your own sake... hold on... Castiel is coming to get you._"

"Trying..." Dean answered, listening to his friend's calm rambling.

"Dean..." Suddenly Castiel was standing in front of him, kneeling down immediately, when he saw Dean's side. "Oh my..."

"Cas..." Dean looked at the angel, who laid his hands over the huge, deep gash.

Castiel silenced him with shaking his head. "Shhh... it is going to be okay, Dean... I can heal you. Just stay calm."

"Do whatever you want." Dean let his head fall, not sure whether he wanted to be healed.

Then... he slipped into unconsciousness.

...

"Dean." Bobby's voice was rough by his side. Annoyed.

Dean just squeezed his eyes shut even tighter.

"Will he be okay?" _This voice._

Dean startled, concentrating more on his surroundings.

There was a gentle hand holding his own hand. A thumb brushing over his palm.

"Sammy." He shot upright, his head nearly colliding with his brother's head.

"Okay... the boy seems recovered..." Bobby grumbled. "Come on, Castiel... let's give 'em some time."

"Sam... what the..." Dean asked... feeling like he was going to slip away again.

"Hey... surprise?" Sam shrugged, brushing away some remaining tears on his cheeks. "God... I've been scared Dean."

"You... you've been scared?" Dean felt dizzy. That was a dream... that was dream. "Oh my... fuck,.. I have to go out."

"Dean... no... you're..." Sam stood up, when Dean did. "Wait a moment... you need to recover."

"Don't you dare, telling me what to do..." Dean shouted, sounded just as shocked as he looked.

"Dean... I can explain..." Sam whispered, making a movement forward to catch his brother's arm.

"You can explain, why you didn't come to me?" Dean yelled into his brother's face.

Sam bit his lip... he couldn't...

"You know... forget it... I..." Dean raised his fist and Sam closed his eyes, bracing himself for the first blow, but it didn't came, instead he heard the front door fall shut.

"Ah damn it..." Sam swore.

"Follow him." Bobby ordered, handing Sam two bottles of beer.

...

_**To be continued.**_

_**Reviews please.**_

_**Last chapter should be up soon. :)**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Last chapter**_

_**...**_

"You're gonna talk to me?" Sam asked, approaching his glaring brother.

"You're an ass." Dean took one of the bottles, shaking his head, taking a deep breath.

"Huh... not really the greeting I wished for." Sam sat down in the grass beside his brother's feet, letting him decide whether he wanted to talk or not.

Huffing Dean sat down beside him. "Okay... you wasn't the one I expected to meet here." _or anywhere else._

"I'm sorry Dean... I just... I needed to... clear my head... god... I'm sorry... I'm really sorry... I should have come to you..." Sam let his head fall, looking at his brother through his long bangs. "And I wanted you to have some normal life."

"Sam..." Dean admonished, feeling that the man was leaving out some information.

"I wasn't sure whether you wanted me with you..." Sam blushed.

"You're really an ass." Dean sighed, before he turned to his brother, setting the bottle down in the grass. Sam did the same.

Kneeling down closer by his brother, Dean lifted his hand, moving his fingers close by his brother's cheek, afraid to touch.

"I'm me, Dean... Ask Bobby... he tested me... Castiel did, too." Sam's eyes swam, causing Dean to cup his Sam's cheek into his hand, before he pulled Sam close.

"Of course I want you with me." Dean whispered into his brother's ear. "How could you even think that I didn't want you with me?"

Sam exhaled sharply, moving his head against his brother's collarbone, smiling when he saw the amulet, back on it's place, letting himself be held.

"How did it happen?" Dean asked, one of his hands fisting his brother's hair gently, the other pressing into Sam's back.

Sam smiled into his brother shoulder, both of his hands on Dean's shoulder blades. "Castiel says that is was Jesse Turner... well... I've got..." Sam pulled away, lifting his shirt sleeve. There was a little hand-imprint visible. "...this"

"Okay... then I know who's gonna get your iPod." Dean turned around and looked up into the night sky.

"Well... I came back two weeks ago... Cas brought me to Lisa at first... then here... They had to promise me that they won't tell you... so... don't be mad at them." Sam titled his head, watching his older brother.

"I knew there was something... the night I arrived at Lisa's... there was something... well... someone... you... on the porch." Dean smiled shyly.

"Oh..." Sam hung his head and for a moment they just sat there and drank their beers.

"Why are you fighting demons on your own? Why were you at the... cemetery?" Sam asked. laying down, closing his eyes.

"You're dumb." Dean brushed his hand through Sam's hair, before he patted his brother's cheek, not so gently. "I didn't really fit into the life _you_ picked for me... I wanted to search for clues how to find you without killing myself or making a deal."

"You promised." Sam protested, batting Dean's hand away.

"Yeah... and you are ought to come to me, when you're not in hell." Dean's voice was soft, but he sounded hurt though.

"I'm..." Sam started but he stopped when Dean smiled at him.

"I'm glad that your sorry-ass is back..." The older brother patted Sam's shoulder, leaving his hand there. "But I'm kick your ass when you pull another stunt like this."

"Okay." Sam squirmed, moving closer to the other man, his eyes closed. Dean looked down with affection, squeezing Sam's shoulder tenderly. God... he had missed this kid so much... He couldn't even try to describe how happy he was to have his little brother back.

When Sam cracked his eyes open to look at Dean, the older man could see equal love in Sam's eyes. Somehow they've cheated death pretty often by now... but they couldn't get rid of this brotherhood. Even if they tried. Maybe the secret of love was indeed bigger than the secret of death.

"Uh... it's raining... let's go inside." Dean prodded, trying to stand but was pulled back. "Do you want to get ill?"

"Nah... it's just been a while since we had a summer storm." Sam closed his eyes, smiling up, while the rain wetted his face and clothes.

"I always thought you don't like rain... sugar." Dean teased, settling down again.

"I can enjoy it with good company." Sam confessed sheepishly, bowing his head.

After a while sitting by each other in silence Dean poked at Sam's side, making him meet his eyes. "What do you remember? You know..."

"I don't know... I remember beating you... well... my body beating you..." Sam closed his eyes, his face pained, causing Dean to move closer again, his jeans wet in the grass, a hand steady against his brother's side. "I screamed for Lucifer to stop... and then I remembered why I couldn't let him win... I just knew how to... beat him..." Dean let him talk, watching Sam closely.

"The next thing I know is... pain... plain pain..." Sam admitted. "Then I woke up at the cemetery"

Somehow Dean knew that this was the truth. "I'm glad you don't remember more..."

"Yeah me too..." Sam nodded, opening his eyes again.

"God... princess..." Dean chuckled... feeling relieved. "Let's go inside... I need to call Lisa... I promised to call as soon I find you."

"Okay... I'm gonna take a shower while you're talking with her." Sam announced walking back to the house with his brother, smiling when Dean shoved him gently. Sam of course pushed back, running and leaping back at the house, making the older man laugh, while chasing him.

...

"You are okay?" Bobby asked, when the brothers came into the house, panting.

"Better." Dean answered, patting Sam's back. fetching his cell with the other hand. "Go and shower, Sammy."

"_Dean... hey... how are you... where are you._" Lisa asked when she answered the phone.

"Hey... Lisa... he's back... I have him back... I have..." Dean chuckled. "Sammy's here."

"_Oh my... Dean... that's amazing... where are you two?_" There was a smile in the woman's voice.

"At Bobby's..." Dean replayed. "Lisa... thanks... for everything."

"_I don't know for what you're thanking me... but... you're welcome anyway_." Lisa said gently. "_Say hello to him..._" Dean heard a chuckle on the other end. "_Give him a hug._"

Dean grinned when she repeated his words.

"I'll call you, Lis... Bye..." Dean smiled.

"_Bye..._" Lisa's voice was thick with emotions. Good emotions for a change.

...

Dean already waited in front of the bathroom when Sam came out, dressed in sweatpants and a shirt.

"Wait for me downstairs." Dean smiled at his grinning brother, before he entered the bathroom.

Time couldn't heal any wounds...

That's just bullshit...

Perhaps they could do it together... healing the other.

"Sammy..." Dean bit the inside of his cheek, touching the amulet around his neck gently, when he saw a goofy looking smiley on the mirror.

With tears of joy in his eyes, he stepped into the shower, realizing that his world was just perfect again.

The cure began.

_**...**_

_**Just wishing... :)**_

_**Reviews please.**_


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